Tag Archives: connection

The Everyday Feminine

Come with me for one moment into your imagination. Close your eyes. Take a breath. Imagine your hometown and all of the hustling and bustling of daily life. Now imagine that all of the women have been called away on a mission of some kind. Take a moment to feel your community without any women.

Feminine Essence at Play

Okay, you can open your eyes now. If I were sitting with you I would love to hear your observations of such a world.

March 8th is the 100th anniversary of International Women’s Day, which has inspired comment on women and the divine feminine. When a European journal asked if I would share my perspectives on the divine feminine for their cover story, my mind went to what the world would be like without its women. As I closed my eyes and explored this concept the first thing I noticed was a lack of connectivity. The feminine need to connect and cooperate is at the core of community.

It has been discovered through the world of science and the works of biologist Bruce Lipton, author of Biology of Belief and Spontaneous Evolution, as well as others, that nature thrives on cooperation, not competition. Yet, the paradigm in which we live is built on systems that foster competition. Competition has become the backbone of business, education, politics and even art. The need to dominate over others has created more pain on this planet than any other single human factor. A favored system of control has been to marginalize the feminine principles within our societies as a ‘feel good’, but non-essential, framework for rebuilding our increasingly challenged infrastructure both at home and within the world at large. But let’s look at what’s at stake in ignoring the feminine attributes.

When we imagined our world without women there was a loss of warmth, sharing, nurturing and concern. The duties that needed fulfilling were done in a perfunctory manner. Did you see the men setting a beautiful table and placing a tasty and healthful meal before the children? Did they reach out to one another to take the pulse of the neighborhood affairs? Did they offer help where help was needed by another man?

Let’s extend contemporary challenges out into the future. An economic downturn as viewed through the lens of competition is devastating. The battlefield is strewn with losers while only a handful walk away with the goods. This is how the masculine competitive world views such a scenario.

As a woman, I see an opportunity to return to our core feminine values. If scarcity becomes a reality in any of our lives, it will be the women in our lives who will invite us in. We may bring our children and share space with another generous woman. We may share the food, chores and duties. We may find that our hearts are singing once again with the song of friendship and love. Living within the feminine principles can even shine through in a man’s world.

As one example, I have lived in a predominantly man’s world off and on throughout my media career and have always chosen the feminine path within it. By and large this has served me. Here is one extreme example of how living by my feminine principles allowed me to thrive in my work at a time in which American women were pushing for equality on all fronts.

In the late 1970s women were being invited, as tokens to the feminist agenda, into the world of sports broadcasting. I was one of the first handful of women sports anchors in the country.

While covering an NFL (American football) game, I was required to get a post game interview with the winning coach. To do this a reporter had to go into the locker room while the athletes were showering and compete with other sports reporters to get a good soundbite.

I felt profoundly uncomfortable with the notion of standing among sweaty, wet and naked athletes along with other male sports reporters, yet I had a job to do. I chose to let my discomfort be known and ask that I have a word with the coach outside, once the excitement died down.

Once the coach emerged from the locker room, he was gracious and kind, thanking me for my patience. He went on to give me a one-on-one full length interview that was the envy of my male counterparts. Because I chose to live within my own standards, I was treated with respect. I did not feel a need to compete with men to do my job well nor was it necessary.

If we extend this to the workplace in general, women have been pressured into competition to an extent that is against our natural inclinations. What price have we paid in our family life, relationships and health to carve out our share of the wealth? While there is value in developing marketable skills to help ourselves and our families, we should not succumb to the masculine agendas and beliefs that dismiss the feminine virtues.

Now let’s return to our beginning vision. Close your eyes and watch how your community changes once the women arrive home from their mission. What warmth, life, generosity, heavenly scents, affection, creativity, healing and caring returns with them!

This is the divinity in the feminine. So many people among the New Age community wish for a return to the feminine, but miss what’s right in front of us. We do not need to construct Goddess temples, wear flowing robes or pay homage to the moon to connect with the divine feminine within.

Finally, we also need to understand that these feminine attributes are not limited to women. There are an increasing number of men who have accessed the feminine within themselves and choose to connect and give in new ways as fathers, husbands and friends. It’s the feminine impulse that operates throughout the universe that is calling to all of it’s children to listen to the song of the heart that demands that we care for one another once again. It’s THIS divine femininity that will heal in the times ahead and we should heed this calling in any and every way that is authentic to us.

Like a warm and soft body against a man’s skin, the feminine soothes, heals, nourishes and cares. What could possibly be more divine?

And I Gave Them Away!

Today was the agreed upon day to return to the Co-Op (see blog below) and do a holiday give-away of my cookbooks to anyone who desired one. I’m doing it because it feels good.

The store manager came up to greet and welcome me, happy that I still wanted to gift his customers with free cookbooks after the sourness of the previous attempt.

Scott said to the manager, “Don’t I know you from somewhere?” As Scott does not ordinarily go to the Co-op, we all just shrugged with that funny feeling that we were missing something. A few minutes later, as I walked with the manager, Dan, I learned that he had also returned to the Sacramento area after living in Sedona. We further discovered that we have several mutual friends in Sedona, and made arrangements to do a catch up when Scott and I return from a Sedona holiday to visit our soul family of friends in a couple of weeks.

After parting company with Dan, I walked toward the produce aisle assuming there might be a cook or two there as a good portion of the vegetables need some kind of cooking to become edible. I approached a woman in her 60′s named Mary. I offered her a book. She looked at me somewhat suspiciously, not willing to buy into what I was putting out there. When I explained further it was just a gift, she stared at me in the eyes and turned quite serious.”Why would you do this?” she asked. I told her I enjoyed it. She asked if she could give me a donation to which I politely refused saying “Seriously, it’s a gift, I don’t want payment.” She continued looking into my eyes for something that would betray my true intentions, then slowly held her hand out to take a book. I wished her Happy Holidays, just in case she was Jewish (though my orientation was somewhat obvious as I was wearing a Santa hat) and she returned the greeting saying “Merry Christmas” with an easing, but not eradicated, air of disbelief, still looking into my eyes.  After about 10 minutes she sweetly and shyly came up to me and said “I feel so honored at receiving this gift, would you mind signing the book for me?”

I was so taken back that such a simple offering was apparently such an unfamiliar occurance for this woman. What shapes our sense of mistrust and our sense of worthiness to make a simple act so profound?

Soon after, I approached a rolly-polly African-American woman. As she began to understand what I was offering she asked if she could hug me.  I said I would be delighted because I could tell she would be a magnificent hugger – which she was. She said, “I want to thank you for interrupting my thoughts as I was walking along, it makes my heart feel good that you did that. I was in another world entirely. Now I’m here talking with you!”

Shortly after this, a young woman nearly cried telling me her she was a student with no money and that her mother grew vegetables and loved to cook them. But, she said, she had no money for a Christmas gift and had resorted to  cleaning friend’s homes for sustenance. Now, she said, she had a gift for her mother! I started getting teared up along with her.

Scott and I gave away nearly 50 books, and he too felt an incredible sense of connection with everyone we encountered. Endorphins were flowing all around.

My “take away” was that opportunities to connect with strangers in a meaningful way are as precious as diamonds, and sometimes we have to persist past our own egos and agendas to create the opportunity. I’m glad I revisited the Manic Holiday Give Away!