Monthly Archives: March 2011

Life’s Canvas

I had a dream recently in which I watched my son Stuart go through his daily life while, behind him, was the canvas of his life.  As he moved, the imagery and color on his canvas disappeared, returning to a blank canvas. Surprised, I wondered why this was happening and was given the information that “commitment is the bonding agent that fastens the colors and imagery of our life experience to the canvas.”

I woke up and called Stuart to tell him of the dream. As is generally the case between us, he said “Funny you should say that, I really needed to hear that this morning.” As it turned out, he was questioning his life’s commitments. At the age of 28, he constantly contemplates the conundrum of merging what he perceives as his life’s purpose with his career or means of support. As an idealist, he strives for the two to be one and the same as many of us do.  The reality of today’s economics, however, has not yet allowed for this expression. This makes him feel as though his life is not getting the traction he desires, which has led to frustration and questioning of his efforts, which led to my dream, which led to his acceptance of the message……

The word ‘commitment’ was the key element here. I was shown that to make a decision, take action and commit to that path was how we paint our life’s canvas. This does not mean that we are obliged to follow this path for the rest of our lives, but to commit for a period of time that is appropriate to our goals and needs. Without the commitment it’s as though our plane touches down on the tarmac for just a moment, then bounces up again, touches down, bounces up etc….no traction. The colors don’t fasten to our canvas.

To support this, I just spent the afternoon with Dan Millman, most well known for his best-selling book ‘The Way of the Peaceful Warrior’, and was fortunate enough to receive the first copy of his newest book ‘The Four Purposes of Life’. We christened his book tour with this first interview.

With Dan’s usual clarity, this book addresses the difference between our life’s path or calling and our career and it assists people to fulfill both. We discussed the philosophies of “doing” versus “being” within the larger topic.

It’s popular, in a Buddhist context, to put our focus on ‘being’ at this moment in time. However, as Dan and I agreed, there is little color on our canvas without ‘doing’. Even in choosing long hours of meditation, which is often perceived as ‘being’, it is still ‘doing.’ We make a choice to DO this activity, as receptive or passive as it may be.

This morning, I happened to call Stuart on the way to the interview to tell him about Dan’s book to which he, once again, said “I can’t believe the timing on this! I was just on the phone with a friend talking about exactly this subject and came to this conclusion that we need to BE and DO….I was looking for clarity and validation on this.”  I promised to swing by his place and drop off a signed copy of the book on my way home from the interview.

It’s not just Stuart and other twenty-somethings that are trying to reconcile their passion/purpose with their work. The economic climate has forced many of us to reconsider these important elements of life. Dan’s book is a wonderful guide. But, in the end, it’s our own commitment to our passions, work and life that gives our life the traction that sticks the color down to our canvas.

The good news is, if we don’t like our painting, we can always commit to something new and over-paint it!  As my friend Clint’s father used to say, “Life is long, there’s plenty of time to do what we wish.”

The Everyday Feminine

Come with me for one moment into your imagination. Close your eyes. Take a breath. Imagine your hometown and all of the hustling and bustling of daily life. Now imagine that all of the women have been called away on a mission of some kind. Take a moment to feel your community without any women.

Feminine Essence at Play

Okay, you can open your eyes now. If I were sitting with you I would love to hear your observations of such a world.

March 8th is the 100th anniversary of International Women’s Day, which has inspired comment on women and the divine feminine. When a European journal asked if I would share my perspectives on the divine feminine for their cover story, my mind went to what the world would be like without its women. As I closed my eyes and explored this concept the first thing I noticed was a lack of connectivity. The feminine need to connect and cooperate is at the core of community.

It has been discovered through the world of science and the works of biologist Bruce Lipton, author of Biology of Belief and Spontaneous Evolution, as well as others, that nature thrives on cooperation, not competition. Yet, the paradigm in which we live is built on systems that foster competition. Competition has become the backbone of business, education, politics and even art. The need to dominate over others has created more pain on this planet than any other single human factor. A favored system of control has been to marginalize the feminine principles within our societies as a ‘feel good’, but non-essential, framework for rebuilding our increasingly challenged infrastructure both at home and within the world at large. But let’s look at what’s at stake in ignoring the feminine attributes.

When we imagined our world without women there was a loss of warmth, sharing, nurturing and concern. The duties that needed fulfilling were done in a perfunctory manner. Did you see the men setting a beautiful table and placing a tasty and healthful meal before the children? Did they reach out to one another to take the pulse of the neighborhood affairs? Did they offer help where help was needed by another man?

Let’s extend contemporary challenges out into the future. An economic downturn as viewed through the lens of competition is devastating. The battlefield is strewn with losers while only a handful walk away with the goods. This is how the masculine competitive world views such a scenario.

As a woman, I see an opportunity to return to our core feminine values. If scarcity becomes a reality in any of our lives, it will be the women in our lives who will invite us in. We may bring our children and share space with another generous woman. We may share the food, chores and duties. We may find that our hearts are singing once again with the song of friendship and love. Living within the feminine principles can even shine through in a man’s world.

As one example, I have lived in a predominantly man’s world off and on throughout my media career and have always chosen the feminine path within it. By and large this has served me. Here is one extreme example of how living by my feminine principles allowed me to thrive in my work at a time in which American women were pushing for equality on all fronts.

In the late 1970s women were being invited, as tokens to the feminist agenda, into the world of sports broadcasting. I was one of the first handful of women sports anchors in the country.

While covering an NFL (American football) game, I was required to get a post game interview with the winning coach. To do this a reporter had to go into the locker room while the athletes were showering and compete with other sports reporters to get a good soundbite.

I felt profoundly uncomfortable with the notion of standing among sweaty, wet and naked athletes along with other male sports reporters, yet I had a job to do. I chose to let my discomfort be known and ask that I have a word with the coach outside, once the excitement died down.

Once the coach emerged from the locker room, he was gracious and kind, thanking me for my patience. He went on to give me a one-on-one full length interview that was the envy of my male counterparts. Because I chose to live within my own standards, I was treated with respect. I did not feel a need to compete with men to do my job well nor was it necessary.

If we extend this to the workplace in general, women have been pressured into competition to an extent that is against our natural inclinations. What price have we paid in our family life, relationships and health to carve out our share of the wealth? While there is value in developing marketable skills to help ourselves and our families, we should not succumb to the masculine agendas and beliefs that dismiss the feminine virtues.

Now let’s return to our beginning vision. Close your eyes and watch how your community changes once the women arrive home from their mission. What warmth, life, generosity, heavenly scents, affection, creativity, healing and caring returns with them!

This is the divinity in the feminine. So many people among the New Age community wish for a return to the feminine, but miss what’s right in front of us. We do not need to construct Goddess temples, wear flowing robes or pay homage to the moon to connect with the divine feminine within.

Finally, we also need to understand that these feminine attributes are not limited to women. There are an increasing number of men who have accessed the feminine within themselves and choose to connect and give in new ways as fathers, husbands and friends. It’s the feminine impulse that operates throughout the universe that is calling to all of it’s children to listen to the song of the heart that demands that we care for one another once again. It’s THIS divine femininity that will heal in the times ahead and we should heed this calling in any and every way that is authentic to us.

Like a warm and soft body against a man’s skin, the feminine soothes, heals, nourishes and cares. What could possibly be more divine?